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“The internet is a terrible place to be a woman...we all know that”- Jo Piazza
Women tearing down other women... it is nothing new. Since a very young age, we all at one point or another talked shit about other women, and we certainly have been on the receiving. It doesn’t feel good. Recently, I have been listening to a podcast called “Under the Influence” which is “a deep dive into the Mom Internet, a place haunted by aspirational marketing where it feels like every other mom is a social media influencer trying to sell you something, all while posed in white kitchens that never seem to get messy… with toddlers in cloth diapers that never ever leak; a bastion of carefully curated lives that are #blessed” I think we all can relate. In the most recent episode “Burning Cats”, the host addresses the vitriol and hate that women spew on other women on the internet...particularly on Instagram. Instagram can be like the modern day burn book. Some of the more popular influencers have been on the receiving end of incredible hate….and it does irreparable damage to their mental health. There are even WHOLE FORUMS dedicated to spewing hate on these women. It is really sick. This is not to say that we should hold each other accountable for prejudice, bigotry, and racism. We CERTAINLY should be doing that. Speaking out against injustice and racism is an important step in lifting ALL women. I am taking about just the mean girl snark and shit talking. Putting yourself “out there” in any form, opens you up to criticism, judgement etc. I certainly have had anxiety and insecurities, and I am sure that people have snarkily shared things that I have posted. I am sure there are some of you out there hate following me right now. Hate following is deciding to follow someone on social media, even though you know you disagree with what they say, or think they are a total garbage person. I am going to be completely transparent...I am guilty of talking badly of other women; Women I know and women on the internet. And for that I am sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I know that I have internalized misogyny just like the rest of us, and in our current culture misogyny is imbued into every part of our lives...from day one. It has taken me a long time to recognize the extent of this...and it will continue to take a lot of work to dismantle it within myself and society But the thing about women is we can evolve. We can create the habit of stifling this impulse to tear down other women both here on the internet and in our “real” lives. We can stop this cycle of hate following, shit talking and internalized misogyny. We can celebrate each other and lift each other up. I don’t want my girls to have to worry about this. “We rise by lifting others”. I choose that Instagram. I choose the Instagram where the truth is important, our power of influence is used for good...Where we can share experiences to bridge the gap in the differences of our lives. A place where we can connect and learn, support and share. Let’s be choosey with who we follow, what we comment and what we post. All of these things are choices. Let’s lift each other up and empower each other. Are you with me?
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